SOUNDS OF 2012

There was no way I was going to finish this list “in time” for New Year’s Eve, so it’s a good thing I hold the quaint belief that art, even bubblegum pop art, doesn’t have a best by date.

Here are some songs I listened to compulsively in 2012, and which I think are still worth listening to and talking about in 2013. Check out the entire 8tracks mix below, or click on individual song titles for YouTube links. xx

The Weeknd – The Morning

In a beautiful bit of synesthesia, “The Morning” sounds the way crisp winter air feels, or dry ice looks. I love how Abel Tesfaye has managed to take ingredients that essentially feel cold and transform them into one magma-hot groove.

Rihanna – You Da One

A sonic dream of guilt-free sexual bliss, this song—actually, make that this video—marks the exact moment Rihanna became very role-model important to me. “Yes I’m fallin’ for ya, but there’s nothin’ wrong with that.”

Usher – Climax

Here’s where I compare Usher to a fine wine and marvel at how this man’s voice only gets better with age, my god.

Beyoncé – I Miss You

A minimal, sinewy production provides the perfect backdrop for Beyoncé’s twin vocals—one hushed, the other belting—layered over each other in a startling representation of how composed we can seem on the outside, even while we’re gasping for breath underneath it all. I’ve read some YouTube comments complaining that there isn’t a version featuring both Beyoncé and the song’s co-writer, Frank Ocean, but I find Bey’s performance so nuanced, it’s already a duet.

Rebecca Ferguson – Nothing’s Real But Love

“I put it all away / Holding it back for a rainy day / But what if that day don’t come.”

Emeli Sandé - Heaven

“Heaven” is the sound of your life flashing before your eyes, of your soul leaving your body. It does not go gently.

The xx – Angels

What’s heaven without its angels? Romy Madley Croft’s honest and earnest words, sung simply, are what make this song so special. “Angels” marvels in the quiet fact of love, with no frills on.

The Drums – Money

I haven’t been able to bring myself to listen to The Strokes’ back catalogue in years for fear of tipping salt into the permanently oozing wound of growing older; so, this summer, when I wanted to think about New York City boys in New York City bands, I listened to “Money” and it eased a fraction of that pressure.

Solange – Losing You

“Losing You” reminds me of a Robyn song in its insistence on resolutely dancing through life’s various disappointments. Solange’s voice may flutter like chiffon in the wind, but you never once doubt her ability to outlast her own heartbreak.

Lianne La Havas – Tease Me [Live]

When La Havas sings “I am not lonely / I’m all right,” her voice strains with familiar feelings of disbelief and smoky resignation. “Tease Me” is a wisp of a song, like the ghost of a fire after you’ve blown the candles out.

BAD GIRLS, OLYMPIC BOYFRIENDS, AND SUGAR-RUSH LOVE SCENES

Second annual list of people I crushed extra hard on this year.

LIU WEN



The most beautiful Angel in the world right now.

DARREN CRISS COVERS “PART OF YOUR WORLD”



Cute, silly-sexy fun.

OLYMPIC BOYFRIENDS

Every four years the Olympics come around, and every four years I adopt a stable of boyfriends built like Greek gods. I’ve done this for as long as I’ve been cognizant of the Games, but I no longer remember the names, faces, or victories of Olympic Boyfriends past. That pains me more than I thought it would. I wonder what they’re doing today, and if they’re still proud of themselves.

It’s disorienting to watch as my own age finally dovetails with the athletes’ ages. In two Olympics’ time, I will certainly be older than that future cohort of champions and almost-champions. I think about how beautiful and capable our bodies are, and how vulnerable. A lot of desire is about feeling like a viable human being, one who is capable of being better than they are right now. And every last one of us is running against the wind.

DENIS LAVANT IN HOLY MOTORS



Exactly.

AL GREEN SINGING “TIRED OF BEING ALONE” LIVE ON SOUL SCHOOL



Lately, I’ve been thinking about showmanship—about what it takes and what it means to be an inspiring performer. Big choreographed dance numbers have their uses, and I’d rather welcome them enthusiastically than not have them at all. But what really astonishes is how little you have to ‘perform’ in order to be an effective and charismatic entertainer.

I love the way this video of Al Green opens on a shot of his shoes before gliding up his legs (!) and revealing his face. Then there’s the outfit, the gold jewelry, and that voice. Green’s body language is so easy-going and comfortable, and there are no histrionics in his singing—just longing and joy. “Tired of Being Alone” is a radiant, love- and life-giving performance, subtly perfect from top to bottom.

RIHANNA + M.I.A.



This bad girl duo is IDGAF personified.

JENNIFER LOPEZ DREAMING ABOUT GEORGE CLOONEY IN OUT OF SIGHT



Roger Ebert once compared Clooney and Lopez’s Out of Sight chemistry to that of Bogart and Bacall, and he wasn’t far off the mark. In the movie, Lopez plays a US Marshal tasked with keeping Clooney’s wily bank robber in custody—but definitely not in the custody of her pants or anything because she’s a professional. Spoiler: oops!

Much has been written about the famous car trunk scene, but for me, the pivotal scene is when Lopez dreams about walking in on the dude all naked and steamy in the bath. It’s kind of obvious and embarrassing (there’s always a touch of the obvious and embarrassing where agreed-upon male heartthrobs are concerned), but that doesn’t prevent it from being a necessary example of female voyeurism, a delicious appreciation of masculine beauty, and sweet, sweet fantasy, baby.

VENUS X + CHIEF BOIMA TALK ABOUT MUSIC AND GLOBALIZATION WHILE BEING GORGEOUS



A long video, but no one is more crush-worthy than Venus tearing white supremacist practices in the music industry to SHREDS.

MATTHEW GRAY GUBLER


Kind of a Manic Pixie Dream Guy choice but I’ll let it stand because, as is often the case with MPDGs of both genders, he’s cuuuute.

COMING IN FROM THE COLD

1 by Derek Kettela for Black Magazine; 2 and 4 by Nick Dorey for Russh; 3 and 8 by Boris Ovini for Dahse Magazine; 5 and 7 by Benny Horne for Exit Magazine

Winter may not be as hot as summer, but it’s certainly steamier. Colder climes mean foggy windows, bottomless cups of tea, and, if you’re not the lucky owner of a roaring fireplace, tons of candles dotting all the counters and tabletops.

The first thing I do when I come in from the cold is start peeling away the layers. With one arm freed from the itchy grip of a wool sweater, pants off but knee socks most definitely still on, I’ve never felt more comfortable. And looking at these photos, a hint of bare skin has rarely been more beguiling.

WHY BRUNCH IS BEST

Photo and recipe

People have strong feelings about brunch. As a cultural thing it has become very hotly contested in some circles because girls who brunch are easy to make fun of. It’s the Shoshanna Shapiro of meals. But I think brunch is wonderful. It gives you a reason to feel good about drinking a lot of champagne in public before noon. The portmanteau name suggests that brunch is a twilight-zone meal, like late-late-night McDonald’s. And, like a 3AM burger run, brunch can go on forever...way after you’ve left the restaurant...into the next part of the day. After brunch you ‘need’ coffee; after coffee you ‘need’ to take all your friends back to your place to show them your new coffee table book. It’s about spending time.

Plus going out for brunch means you can order the skillet-baked eggs at Freemans, where the right Otis Redding or Fleetwood Mac or Ramones song is always playing. Who ordered more champagne?

CRYING SONG

You know that dizzy feeling you get when you stare at a bright object (a slice of pizza, the sun, a beautiful boy) and then quickly look away? How you can still see its after-image shimmering there? That’s Fleetwood Mac’s “Landslide.” Stevie Nicks sings “I took my love, I took it down” as though her love were a picture that’s been hanging on her wall for so long, she hadn’t stopped to notice that it didn’t look the same anymore. To me, “Landslide” represents precisely that moment of clarity, when you find out that it isn’t just the décor that’s different; the entire view has drifted and receded. For a few scary breaths your perspective careens like a crane shot.

This song is about the uncertainty of life and love, a theme that always makes me want to cry, so when Stevie asks, “Can I handle the seasons of my liiiiiiiiiiife?” and drags that last word up and down the scales, I do. I cry! But there’s also a reassuring flintiness in her voice that I pick up on more nowadays. If the lyric “I’ve been afraid of changing” splits me right open, then “Time makes you bolder” puts me back together again—banged up, bruised, and misshapen, but for the most part, whole. The prettiness of the guitars helps.

As with all songs that make me cry, I worry that if I listen to this one too often all the magic will rub off and its comforting, predictably cathartic power will be lost forever. What if the song that never fails to make me cry, one day fails to make me cry?! How will I define myself then? Well, I’m learning that that is OK too. It’s not necessarily a sign that “Landslide” won’t mean as much to me. Only that I will have changed in spite of myself. Maybe it means the song won’t lose its power at all, but will in fact actually do its job, that is, help me face this hard little icicle of a truth: the “you” that I’ve built my life around is the old me.

I originally wrote this piece for a compilation on Strawberry Fields Whatever. It didn't make it into the final post but the writing of it was so easy that I’m content to leave it here as a reminder that the things we need sometimes do come crazy-easy. Not every word puts up a fight.